A page out of my own Book of Life experiences to inspire beings who are at a similar junction as me!!
This is who I WAS:-
– Always objectively critical about self
– Always felt I was a WORK IN PROGRESS
– Considered DOING, THINKING, PLANNING as the ONLY way of Life. To achieve something I have to constantly DO SOMETHING
To receive LOVE, I have to GIVE out infinitely first. To earn money, I have SQUEEZE myself & over work to an extent
– On a journey where I had this vision of a PERFECT LIFE, PERFECT STATE OF BEING HAPPY; with a Perfect man in a perfect relationship etc
– I was striving for being in CONTROL at all times for all circumstances
– Planner to a level world’s greatest scientist would feel a THREAT of competition
– Surrendering felt weak. Aligning to feminine power was alien & Trusting in my own self was a unsurmountable task
Height of being HARD was carrying 5kgs of books in every trip so that I could study & catch up on things O don’t get time in my routine life in Bombay!
This is who I am BECOMING:-
– Learning to master the Art of just BEING fully PRESENT to myself first! So like a mother listens closely to her child. I keep checking in with myself. At any point if I need me to be more PRESENT with myself, I TAKE THAT LEAP & RISE TO THE OCCASION & I SHOW UP for myself!
– I have arrived!!! My journey itself is my DESTINATION! There is NO WHERE to reach! For I am now REACHING my own DEPTH & meeting myself at my CORE!!
– I don’t have to be PERFECT!
I have to EMBRACE MY IMPERFECTIONS!! Mastered the ability of ACCEPTING even those facets of mine that are not glorious!
AUTHENTICITY is my new definition of perfection!
– I’m studying every moment that I’m breathing here. I’m studying various RHYTHMS OF OWN HEARTBEAT!
I’m studying different types of sounds around me (wind, the sound of waterfall) I’m increasing my level of PRESENCE first to myself & then to my environment!
– I used to listen to my audio classes in my trips & songs excessively, now I listen to the WISDOM contained in my surroundings & I listen to the song of my soul!
– I pay attention to the different shades of sky, cloud formation, feel how different ALTITUDE feels radically different to my body each time!
– I keep asking myself the way my beloved would have checked with me “ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED SOMETHING?
– Surrender feels EASIER than driving the ship on a trouble water current for I was resisting it. I blow my heartfelt wishes into the Sky & say “I TRUST YOU TO LOOK AFTER ME!
– When I loose path, I feel HIGHER PRESENCE around me & my only job is to FOLLOW the compass of my heart!
– Feminine energy for me right now is my SAVING GRACE!! I am taking RECOURSE in it!
It’s teaching me to BREATHE!
My senses have got UPGRADED! I now feel varying temperatures more succinctly burst in my body!!
This trip has CRACKED OPEN my BEING for more LIGHT to permeate for a higher level of TRANSUMUTATION & TRANSFORMATION!
My container to RECEIVE the GOODNESS of Life has been UPGRADED to match my MISSION statement!!!
I am now accessing ALL OF ME for I have arrived!!
And my new mantra for every moment is “THIS IS IT”
To everything that is, I offer my THIS IS IT!!
Sheetal R Ahuja