The Love Addict needs connection & is terrified of rejection, yet the intensity of it usually pushes the partner away, creating what they were trying to avoid in the first place.
Instead of grasping for love on the outside, it’s essential for a love addict to get to know him/her Self & cultivate a loving relationship within.
These patterns stem from childhood, so a deeper understanding and acknowledgment of your upbringing can help to make sense of what you’re feeling and learn to Love this part of you so it integrates into wholeness & safety.
How do you heal Love Addiction (anxious attachment) and step towards secure attachment in relationship?
1. When you notice Love Addiction arising (See yesterday’s post for the signs): pause, breathe & bring all your attention WITHIN.
2. Validate this part of you and let go of judgment – “It’s fair enough, I’m here for you, you’re safe, you’re loved my darling”
3. Let yourself EXPRESS the mental story (in your own space) without a filter, really get it off your chest: “I love him/her, I need her! Does he love me? Should I call a 4th time just in case? What have I done wrong? What’s she doing? Why hasn’t he replied, it’s been 10 minutes! He mustn’t love me! She must think I’m too much!” etc. Really dial it up! Let it rip!
4. Let go of the mental story. FEEL the emotion underneath: the fear, frustration, sadness that this brings up and with breath, sound & movement of your emotions, release all the parts of you that haven’t felt loved.
5. Validate your feelings, it’s all fair enough. Let go of the past, you’re here now, you’re loved.
6. Tune into what you really need – you’re only as needy as your unmet needs – give this to yourself or make a request from another & assess whether or not they can meet your needs.
7. Focus on where you ARE loved, with gratitude for the connections in your life!
Happy Healing
Sheetal R Ahuja